


My Friends Are a Different Breed

by starsontheceiling



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Gen, M/M, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-09
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-04 04:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1076737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsontheceiling/pseuds/starsontheceiling
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's life finally seems to be on the up when Castiel Novak joins his makeshift foster family. The two boys become best friends despite Cas' lack of social skills and the scars Dean's past has left him. They're just on their way to being something more when Castiel suddenly disappears. With the adults in Dean's life unable to see anything suspicious about his Castiel's disappearance he sets off on a road trip to find his best friend and bring him home, only to find himself caught up in something much bigger than himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Missouri's newest charity case

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever Supernatural fic and is shaping up to be the longest thing I've ever written so I hope you enjoy it!  
> Thanks to my beta Caitlin, Jordan for helping me with the Americanisms and also joshramsay for making the best playlists on 8tracks.   
> The title comes from the song Vegas by All Time Low.   
> I own nothing.

“It’s not fair Bobby, I haven’t seen him in months and they _promised_ and he’s my baby brother and it’s not fair!”

“I know.” Bobby says. “Ain’t nothin’ I got to say is gonna change this Dean and I wish I could but this is just the way it’s gotta be.”

Dean wipes at his eyes as surreptitiously as he can. “I still don’t get why they were allowed to moved to freaking Palo Alto. It’s like three days drive away!”

Bobby is silent and Dean is grateful. They both know why Sam’s long term foster parents were allowed to move so far away. The Adlers wanted to remove his ‘impressionable younger brother’ away from Dean’s ‘self destructive behaviour' and 'bad influence’.

“Dean, there’s a customer hanging around outside my office looking pissed. I gotta go. You come by any time, you hear me?”

“Will do.” Dean hangs up and veers right, straight into the road, without properly checking to see if there’s any oncoming traffic. He realises a split second too late that there’s a truck coming towards him.

He freezes but a hand grabs his shoulder and yanks him out of the way. The driver swears at Dean through the window and Dean sticks his middle finger up in return before swinging around to face his saviour.

There is a solemn looking boy facing him. Dean would guess he’s about the same age as him, possibly a little younger, and he’s wearing the most horrendous, ill-fitting trenchcoat Dean has ever seen. Before he gets a chance to thank him for saving his life, the boy speaks.

“You should be more careful Dean Winchester. You could have gotten yourself killed.” His voice is lower than you’d expect, looking at him.

Dean immediately backs away. “How the hell do you know my name?”

“Your picture is on the mantelpiece in Mrs Mosley’s living room. I asked what your name was and she told me.”

Dean frowns. “You her newest charity case?” He is being unfair and he knows it but he just can’t bring himself to care.

The boy’s head tilts to the side. “I arrived this morning. I will be staying with Mrs Mosley for the foreseeable future.”

“What you doing out here?”

“I was looking for you.”

“Why?” Dean is suspicious again. The stranger doesn’t help himself by shifting uncomfortably and looking away. "Hey, I’m up here sunshine.” He snaps his fingers under the boy’s nose. “How come you’re looking for me?”

“Ms Mosley advised me to follow you because she said you might be about to do something regrettable.”

Dean snorts “Like hell Missouri said that.”

“I may have paraphrased her words slightly.”

Dean rolls his eyes. “What’s your name?”

“My name is Castiel Novak.”

“Right. Well _Castiel,_ I have two things to say to you. One, I don’t need a babysitter so you can piss off.”

Castiel interrupts. “I am not here because I believe you are an infant that needs caring for.” He looks at Dean, straight at him and it feels like Castiel is trying to read his mind. It makes Dean feel uncomfortable and he struggles to find the words he was so ready to fire at the new boy only a few seconds ago.

“You had something else to say to me?”

He recovers and looks away. “Yeah, dude, your coat is fugly.”

Castiel frowns, indignant. “I like it. It is very practical.”

Dean gives a snort of laughter despite himself. “Whatever.” He starts walking and Castiel immediately falls into step beside him.

“Where are we going?” Dean raises his eyes at the ‘we’ in Castiel’s question but otherwise ignores that Castiel has even spoken. “Shouldn’t we return to Mrs Mosley’s house?”

“You can go back if you want. I’m gonna stay away for a while.”

“Why?”

“She’ll want me to talk about my _feelings_.” Dean pours a lot of contempt into the last word.

“Why?”

“I was supposed to be seeing my baby brother today but his foster parents cancelled at the last minute. They don’t like me seeing him.” Dean tries to say it as quickly as he can but a lump still appears in his throat.

“That must be difficult.”

Dean doesn’t want to talk about this. “Ok, rule one of hanging around with Dean Winchester, no talking about feelings or emotions or any of that crap. ‘m not a girl, ‘kay?”

Castiel nods. “Okay.” There is a pause in the conversation as the two boys walk side by side. “Does that mean you aren’t averse to hanging around with me?”

Dean sighs. Anyway this goes he’s going to end up with Castiel. He’s going to be living with him for Christ’s sake. It’s not as if he’s really in any position to be turning down a potential friend either, but this kid is going to get slaughtered at school. He looks frail under his stupid coat, his skin is too pale, his eyes too blue and he talks like something out of an old book. The last thing Dean needs is to have to keep an eye on another person, not when he’s still sporting the bruises from his last run in with Gordon Walker.

But.

But he _likes_ Castiel, likes his seriousness, likes how quickly he dropped the topic of Sam when Dean made it obvious it wasn’t up for conversation and how he’s still holding the edges of his coat as if Dean’s going to physically remove the monstrosity from him.

“Yeah, I’m not, whatever you said, averse, to hanging around with you.” Dean shrugs and tells himself that Gordon’s going to go after Castiel even if Dean goes nowhere near him; he presents far too easy a target so Dean would end up protecting him either way.

Castiel’s answering smile lights up his face and all Dean can think is that he is _fucked_.

//

When he finds out that Castiel’s never been to Lawrence before, he texts Missouri to let her know they’re both ok. He then turns off his phone and insists on showing Castiel around the city, refusing to take the bus despite the fact they both have enough money for it. He wants to drag this day out as long as possible; he doesn’t want to go back to Missouri’s and talk about how he’s slowly losing his baby brother to a couple of strangers.

He shows Castiel the parks and the shops and how to get to the cinema. He walks him past the school and by the river. Eventually he starts to get hungry.

“You hungry Castiel?”

“I could eat.”

“I can work with that.” Castiel seems happy to go along with this. In fact he mostly seems to have very little opinion on anything. At first, Dean had got a little frustrated; it’s not fun hanging with someone who agrees with everything you say, but it didn’t take him long to realise that it's not so much that Castiel doesn’t have an opinion, more like he’s totally new to everything, like he honestly doesn’t know what to think. Dean can’t help but think it’s odd, that there’s something a bit off about his new friend but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

When they get to the roadhouse it’s fairly quiet. There’s a few couples, a family with young children and a few more of Ellen’s regulars. Dean goes straight up to the counter. When Ellen sees him and Castiel she raises her eyebrows.

Dean wilts a little under her gaze, “The Adler’s cancelled," Ellen purses her lips but says nothing. Dean can see she’s upset too; Ellen is as fond of Sam as she of Dean and he knows she still feels guilty that she didn’t have the money to take them in after their parents died.

“Well you gonna introduce me to this handsome fella or not Dean?” Ellen gently slaps Dean across the back of his head and Dean makes a terrible fuss over it, dramatically rubbing where she slapped him but he miserably fails to hide his grin at her odd show of affection. “Sorry,” Ellen turns to Castiel. “I do try my best to install some manners into this young hooligan but it never seems to make any difference.”

“I’m not a hooligan!” Dean objects but they both ignore him.

“He can be very rude.” Castiel agrees, he sounds grave and his face is blank but there’s something in his eye that Dean thinks might be amusement. Ellen bursts out laughing.

“I think we’re going to get along very well.” She tells the solemn looking boy. “I’m Ellen Harvelle and this here is my diner, the Roadhouse.” She sticks out her hand but Castiel just looks at it in confusion. Ellen, being the woman she is just pulls it back without a comment.

“My name is Castiel.” The boy offers her an awkward smile.

“Well Castiel, what would you like for lunch?”

Castiel looks up at the menu and frowns. Dean’s noticed that he does that a lot. “I like burgers?” It sounds more like an offer than a choice and Ellen laughs again.

“I’m sure we can manage that sweetheart.” She jots down his order on a pad of paper and looks up at Dean. “Usual for you?”

“Course, and, uh, two strawberry milkshakes.”

“Two?”

“Well one for Cas obviously.” Dean uses the nickname without thinking. Ellen rolls her eyes.

“Does he get a choice?”

“No. You can’t come to the roadhouse without trying the milkshakes.” Dean insists. “Or the burgers. Or the pie…”

“So basically everything on my menu.”

Dean nods. “Exactly.” He pauses. “Hey, you’re not, what’s it called, allergic to milk are you?”

“I am not lactose intolerant, no.”

“Perfect.” He turns back to Ellen and grins. She rolls her eyes again and turns to go into the kitchen.

“Jo’s upstairs by the way.”

“Cool.” He looks at Castiel to find him staring at him. He shifts. “What? You don’t mind me ordering for you, do you? You seemed a bit lost and Ash makes the best milkshakes in Kansas.”

“You called me Cas.” Cas is still staring at him and it’s making him uncomfortable dammit.

“Did I? Sorry, habit of mine, I’m always giving people nicknames. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No.” Cas finally looks away. “It’s nice. No one’s ever called me that before.”

“What? Seriously? But Castiel’s such a mouthful.”

“My family generally prefer to use Cassie.”

Dean laughs. “Dude, that’s a girl’s name.”

Cas gives a long suffering sigh. “They are aware.”

Dean laughs at the expression on the other boy’s face. “I’m just gonna go get Jo.” He slips off the barstool and heads towards the door that leads to the Harvelles’ apartment. “I’ll be right back.”

It takes at least five knocks before Jo opens the door. Her hair is messy and her top is on back to front. Dean smirks at her. “Didn’t wake you up did I kiddo? Did someone stayed up past their bedtime last night?”

Jo glowers at him. “Fuck off Winchester.”

“Ooh, kitty’s got claws.” He teases her. “Better not let your Mom hear you talking like that.”

She growls at up and starts scraping her hair back into a ponytail. “Your top’s on back to front by the way.” He tells her, leaning against the door frame.

“Ugh.” Once she’s fixed it she looks up at him. “Presentable?”

“You look fine.”

She closes the door. “Sam downstairs?”

Dean shakes his head. “Sam isn’t coming.”

Jo’s face falls. “The Adlers?” Dean gives a curt nod. “Fucking bastards.” She grabs his hand and gives it a quick squeeze. “You wanna go watch something?”

“Nah, I’ve got Missouri’s latest stray downstairs with me.”

“Since when do you make friends so fast?”

“Hey,” he elbows her in the side, “I’m not that bad.” She punches him.

“You hit like a girl Winchester.” She tells him matter of factly. “And yes you are.”

“Missouri sent him after me. Figured I owed him after I nearly stepped into the road without looking, and he pulled me out of the way of a truck.”

“You dumbass.” She hits him again, harder.

“I know, I know and Jesus, Jo, will you stop hitting me?”

“No.” She hits him again. “What’s his name?”

“Castiel.”

“Weird name.”

“Weird guy.” Dean says with a frown.

“No one who ends up at Missouri’s is normal Dean.” Jo says, not unkindly.

Dean sighs as he thinks of ragtag family; of Chuck who has the makings of a magnificent author but can’t escape the voices in his head, of Kevin who is cleverest one of them by far but can't stand to go outside, of Benny with his scarred arms and the terror in his eyes whenever he looks at his beautiful baby girl. If all that's wrong with Castiel is his appalling lack of knowledge of popular culture and normal social interaction, he'll be the sanest one by far.

"S'pose not."

When they walk in Castiel is carefully studying the pictures pinned up behind the counter.

"Castiel Novak, meet Joanna Beth Harvelle."

Cas turns around and smiles awkwardly as they approach. "Hello Joanna Beth."

"Call me Jo." She sticks out her hand, all business, and once again Castiel just stares at it, his head tilted to the side. Jo does not have her mother's tact. "You're supposed to shake it. You been living under a rock or something?"

Gingerly Cas shakes her hand. "I have never lived under a rock. Before my uncle brought me here we were living in New York."

"It's just a figure of speech Cas." Dean tells him.

"Oh."

Jo gives them a funny look. "I'm gonna go tell Ash to knock me something up too." She slips off her barstool and goes into the kitchen.

"Jo doesn't mean to be rude." Dean says awkwardly once she's left. "She's just kinda direct."

"I do not mind." His friend goes back to studying the pictures behind the counter. "I think that out of the two of us I am the worse at normal social interaction."

Dean can't help his laugh at Cas' offhand comment. "You think, Spock?"

"I do not understand that reference."

Dean groans and drops his head to the countertop.

"Are you alright Dean?"

"I'm fine Cas."

"Is that you?" Castiel points to a picture of him and Sam, taken a few years ago, before the Adlers took Sam away to Palo Alto.

"Yeah, and that's Sammy, my baby brother."

"You look happy."

"I was." It had been a good day, the Adlers away at some family affair or something. Him and Sammy had spent the weekend together, hanging out at the Harvelle's during the day. Saturday had been a game day, Bobby had closed the auto shop, Ellen had made Dean's favourite pie and they'd sat in the diner and watched the game with some of Ellen's regulars.

Jo's photography obsession had just started so the photos aren't as good as her later ones but she'd still managed to capture the atmosphere of the day; that simple happiness.

"Sammy's really smart. Top of his class. He wants to be a lawyer but he could be anything he wants to be." Dean boasts as Castiel looks at the photo.

"I'm sure he could." Dean bristles at the statement, automatically assuming Castiel is making fun of him but then Castiel glances over at him. "I am perfectly serious Dean. You are obviously proud of your younger brother and I can't imagine it is without reason."

“Well.” Dean nods, appeased. “He’s a good kid. Much better person than me.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

Dean shifts, uncomfortable under Castiel’s penetrating gaze. “You barely know me man.”

The corner of Castiel’s eyes crinkle, one corner of his mouth pulling up in a curious half smile. “I am a good judge of character.”

Dean is saved from answering by Jo returning. She’s got her camera with her and she takes a picture of Castiel without a word of warning. He blinks in surprise.

“Hmm. Not bad.” She says, looking at the photo on the camera’s small display screen. “Lighting isn’t great.”

Castiel looks at Dean, as if searching for reassurance. “Jo takes photos all the time, better get used to it I’m afraid.” Dean tells Cas, apologetic.

“At least I won’t make you pose.” Jo says unrepentantly.

“Pity really. I’m perfect model material.” Dean says, winking at her. Jo groans.

“Are you the person who took the photographs behind the counter?” Cas asks her.

“Yeah, mostly. There’s a few that were taken by my mom or someone else but they’re mostly mine.”

“I took that one!” Dean interjects, half climbing on the counter to point at a photo right at the top of the board. It’s of Jo, hunched over some school books in one of the booths. Her head is tilted up, glowering at the person behind the camera, her hair messy. Jo _hates_ that photo; she’d wanted to delete it when she’d first seen it but Ellen had threatened her with locking away her camera for a month if she did because she’d liked it so much. Dean agreed with Ellen and had insisted it be put up on the board. The third time it disappeared, Dean had stood on a chair and stuck it at the top of the board, out of Jo’s reach and threatened to print it out and stick it up around school if she removed it again.

“I hate that photo.” Dean just laughs at her.

“Why won’t you make us pose?” Castiel asks, drawing them back to the previous conversation.

“Candid photos are better. They capture a person when they’re being them, not when they’re trying to be something else, for other people.” Jo shrugs, clearly embarrassed. “Sorry, it sounds kinda stupid I know.”

“Not at all.”

Jo looks up at him. “They’re more truthful I think.”

“Yes. I suppose they are.” Castiel pauses and looks back at the photo of Jo. “May I see the photograph you took of me?”

“Sure.”

Castiel looks carefully at the picture on the tiny screen. “I like it.” He pronounces, not looking away from the picture. “”I have never seen a picture of myself before.”

Dean and Jo look at each other in surprise. “You’ve never had your picture taken?”

“That is not what I said.” Castiel corrects them. “I have had my picture taken several times but they have always been for documentation purposes.”

“That’s kinda what photography _is_ though.” Dean says gently. “Documenting stuff.”

“I meant official documentation. They were taken and then put away in the office.”

“Oh.” Dean doesn’t really know what to say. Photographs are important. Parents are supposed to take photos of their kids and put them on the wall, and kids are supposed to hate them. What kind of environment had Cas grown up in where there had been no proud parental figure to take pictures of him? No friends capturing out of focus snapshots on long summer days?

“I can print out a copy for you. If you’d like.” Jo says, touching Castiel’s wrist. Cas ducks his head.

“I’d like that.” He finally passes back the camera.

Jo smiles at him and he smiles back.


	2. Late Night Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed the last chapter!  
> Thanks again to Jordan for helping me with the Americanisms and Caitlin for beta-ing the first half of this chapter.  
> Sorry it's shorter than Monday's. This chunk didn't split up very evenly.  
> Enjoy!

2.

It’s just after six o’clock when they get back to Missouri’s. She glares at them when they first come through the door but Dean gives her a tired smile. “Not tonight. Please.”

She purses her lips but nods nonetheless. “Go help Benny in the kitchen Dean.”

“Aw, come one Missouri.”

Missouri raises one eyebrow and Dean groans. He’s already traipsing towards the kitchen when she calls “Shoes!” after him. He sits down in the middle of the hall and begins to untie his laces.

Cas tilts his to the side and Missouri laughs. “You gonna be alright sharing a room with Dean?”

“It will not be a problem…” Castiel fidgets for a second. “You told Gabriel that I would have my own room?”

“Of course you will honey!” Missouri smiles at him. “But there ain’t a bed in there right now.”

“Oh… Where should I put my coat?”

//

“So, you’ll be getting my old room eh, Castiel?” Benny asks Castiel once everyone’s been introduced to him.

Castiel nods. “I believe so.”

Andrea giggles as a piece of food she’s thrown hits Dean’s cheek. He sticks his tongue out at the little girl and she giggles some more.

“So how’d you end up here?”

“Benny!” Missouri scolds. “You may not live in this house any more but you obey my rules!”

“Sorry Missouri.” Benny gives her his best grin. “I was jus’ curious. You gotta be pretty messed up to end up here, the way I see it.”

She hits him across the back of the head but it’s obvious he barely feels it. He just winks at her and Missouri sighs.

“So give us the details Cas.”

“Come on brother. Leave him alone.” Dean says, a tad irritated.

“I don’t mind the questions Dean, I’m afraid I just don’t understand what you mean Benny.”

“Well I was in recovery when I moved here.” Benny says it as if it’s easy, pulling up his sleeves to show Castiel the scars from his track marks but Dean knows it’s anything but effortless.

“I have schizophrenia. Early onset, which means I got it as a kid.” Chuck volunteers.

“Is that unusual?” Castiel asks. “To get it as a child?”

“Yeah. It’s really rare. Most people don’t get it until they’re, like, your and Dean’s age.”

“I have anxiety and agoraphobia.” Kevin interrupts, speaking quickly without looking up from his plate. “I get panic attacks and I get really bad headaches sometimes.”

“Ok.” Castiel frowns. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions about it Kevin?” He glances over at Dean who gives him a quick thumbs up. Most people don’t really know how to deal with Chuck and Kevin when they first meet them but Castiel is doing very well.

“I guess not.”

“I don’t know what a panic attack is although I can guess it’s something bad. Could you tell me what it looks like to an outsider?”

“I…” Kevin looks to Missouri for reassurance who gives him an encouraging smile and Chuck taps his fingers twice next to Kevin’s hand. “I can’t breath properly and I start crying because everything’s too much to deal with and I shake and they make me feel sick.”

“That must be really hard. Do you get panic attacks a lot?”

“I’m getting better. I used to get them every day, sometimes more than once but I only get them like once a week now.”

“You should be proud of yourself.” Castiel says. “If I see you’re having a panic attack should I do something?”

Kevin nods. “Tell me to do my breathing exercises and take me to the cupboard under stairs. We made it nice and comfortable and dark. I feel safe there.”

“Ok.” Castiel smiles. “Thanks for telling me all that stuff Kevin.”

“‘s okay.”

“I talk about weird stuff sometimes.” Chuck pipes up. “Because I have difficulty focussing and stuff.”

“You seem to be doing very well tonight.”

“Today is a good day. Oh and I have meltdowns sometimes. But not very often.” Chuck frowns. “You should probably get Missouri if I have a meltdown.”

“Apparently I have anger issues and violent tendencies and a problem responding correctly to authority.” Dean tells Castiel. “Which is obviously bullshit.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Just coz you’re an adult doesn’t mean I should have to treat you with respect. You gotta earn that.”

“So Castiel? What’s your story?” Benny speaks before Cas can reply to Dean, determined to get his answer.

“I kept on breaking the house rules.” Castiel says serenely, taking another mouthful of food. There is a moment of confused silence. Castiel swallows. “And I set someone on fire.”

Benny whistles. “They piss you off?”

“He hurt my younger brother.”

“Fair enough.” Dean shrugs. “I’d beat the fucking shit out of anyone who laid a finger on Sammy.”

“Dean Winchester!” Missouri snaps and Castiel expects her to yell at him for such a violent statement but is instead surprised when she carries on to berate him for his language.

“Sorry Missouri.”

“What about us?” Chuck pipes up. “What if someone hurt me or Kevin or Andrea?”

“I’d rip their lungs out.” Dean says dutifully. “And if it was one of your ghosts I’d salt and burn them instead.”

Chuck nods happily. This is clearly a question he’s asked before. “Salt and burn?” Castiel asks, confused.

“Yeah. When I moved in Chuck told me that sometimes there are ghosts that are nasty to him. So I looked it up on the internet and to get rid of ghosts you’re supposed to throw salt on their bones and burn them.”

“Maybe I could help with the burning part?” Cas suggests and Dean laughs out loud.

//

Dean doesn’t notice the pair of eyes watching him as he stumbles across his pitch black room to the door, desperate for a drink but when he comes back, having calmed down, Castiel is sitting up; waiting for him.

“Sorry if I woke you up Cas.”

“I was not asleep.” There is a pause as Dean climbs back into bed.

“Insomnia, huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Well I’m guessing you heard me thrashing around in the sheets and moaning like a freaking two year old, so…”

“I was just about to try and wake you up when you woke up.”

“You probably shouldn’t do that. I mighta hurt you.”

“I doubt that.”

“Wouldn’t have been on purpose.”

“I know. I just doubt you would have hurt me. I’m stronger than I look.”

“You not gonna ask what I was dreaming ‘bout?”

“No.”

“Really? You aren’t interested. Most people would be.”

There is a moment of silence and then Castiel sighs. “It was one of the house rules.”

“What?”

“When I arrived, after Gabriel had left, Missouri told me the house rules. Don’t ask Dean about his nightmares was number five.”

Dean frowns. He has not heard this version of the house rules before. “What were the others?”

“No cussing. No shoes inside. Do your share of the chores without complaining. Don’t tell anyone to man up or any other kind of macho crap. Don’t ask Dean about his nightmares. Don’t tell Chuck his stories are bad. Don’t tell Kevin he’s being a baby. Don’t tell anyone they’re pathetic ‘cause they ain’t dealing so well. Don’t complain about the screams or any other kind of noise you mighta heard during the night. Be kind. Help each other.”

Dean gives a huff of laughter. “Good rules.”

“I thought so.”

There is a long period of silence and Dean wonders if Cas has fallen asleep but then he speaks. “How did you and Jo meet?”

“My dad took me and Sammy to the Roadhouse a lot when we were kids. They moved here when Jo was six or seven. I can’t really remember exactly when it was. Ellen grew up around here and she decided to come back after her husband died. Dad knew her when they were kids” Dean sighs. “She was really good to me and Sammy. Looked after us a lot when  Dad weren’t doing such a swell job.”

“What happened to her husband?”

“He was war photographer. Got killed out in Iraq.” Dean picks at his duvet.”It’s why Jo’s so obsessed with her camera. She wants to be like him. I think it kinda scares Ellen, you know?”

“That they’re so similar?”

“That she’s gonna end the same way as her dad.”

“That must be hard.”

“Yeah.” Dean sighs and turns onto his back, looking at the ceiling.

“What about you?”

“What d’you mean?”

“Why are you here?”

Dean doesn’t respond immediately.

“I’m sorry if that was an inappropriate question.”

“S’okay. I just… It’s difficult, you know?”

“You don’t need to answer, I’m sorry.”

“No, just, just give me a minute, yeah?”

“Take all of the time you need.”

Dean takes a sip of water from the glass beside his bed. “My mum died when I was four. House fire. She was stuck in Sammy’s nursery. Dad got him out and gave him to me and told me to take him outside.” Dean takes a deep breath. “He went back for her but he was too late. He nearly died as well.”

“I am so sorry Dean.”

“Yeah… Me too.” His sudden longing for his little brother almost chokes him.

“Dean?”

He can’t answer.

“Dean are you alright?”

He makes himself take a few deep breaths. “I… I miss my baby brother Cas.”

“Me too.”

Dean thinks back to what Cas said at the dinner table. “Your baby brother, the one the guy you set on fire hurt, is he ok?”

“No. He's... No. I miss him a lot.”

“What about the man you set on fire, is he ok?”

“Yes. Regrettably. He suffered no consequences for his actions either, unless you count what I did to him.”

“If you ever find him again, I’ll hold him down while you rip his lungs out if you like?”

Cas laughs quietly in the darkness. “That would be most helpful, thank you.”

“No problem.” Dean’s grin fades as quickly as it came. “And my Dad disappeared by the way. Left me and Sammy at Bobby’s one afternoon and never came back. They found his car in the car park of this diner 50 miles outta the city. Didn’t even say goodbye. Just ‘see you soon boys’. He must of known he wasn’t coming back but the bastard didn’t even say goodbye.” Dean wants to cry.

“I’d fix it if I could Dean.”

“Thanks Cas. For today, too, not just. Well. I’m trying to say I had a good time, you know, despite everything.”

“It is I who should thank you; for being so kind when you were hurting.”

“Yeah well.” Dean can’t really respond to that. “We probably ought to try and sleep now. Sweet dreams and all that.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

“Night Cas.”

Dean falls asleep to the sound of Cas’ breathing and for once, his nightmares let him be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it please leave me a comment to tell me what you thought :)


	3. Castiel's first school day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I meant to post this yesterday but real life has been pretty hectic this week because it's the last week of term!  
> Thanks to Jordan, my beta :)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 

The next morning is hectic to say the least. Dean has perfected getting to school with a second to spare; which normally includes falling out of bed and straight into the shower and eating breakfast en route. This works fine when he’s the only one who’s getting ready but now there’s Cas as well. Cas doesn’t really have any suitable clothes for school either so Dean ends up trying to find something of his that doesn’t fit him anymore and trying to explain how the shower works to Cas who acts like he’s never seen one before.

Missouri obviously needs to come with them because it’s Cas’ first day and she needs to meet with the principal to discuss what’s best for him, except she can’t leave Chuck and Kevin at home but their tutor is late.

They finally arrive, late, and Dean really doesn’t want another late mark so he leaves Cas in the car with Missouri and ‘Good Luck’ tossed over his shoulder as he jogs into the building.

//

Dean is relieved when he sees Cas standing at the front of the cafeteria clasping his lunch and looking utterly terrified. He hadn’t thought to tell Cas what lunch he was in and was worried he might end up in Lunch 2 along with Gordon Walker and his friends. Cas stuck out like a sore thumb; the perfect target.

He half stands up and shouts his friend’s name across the room. He doesn’t really expect Cas to hear him but the other boy’s face lights up and he starts to walk towards Dean.

“Hey Cas.” Dean says as the other boy sits down opposite him.

“Hello Dean.”

“How’s your first day?”

“Confusing.” Castiel frowns. “And loud.”

Dean laughs. “Your old school smaller than this one?”

“This is my first school.”

Dean frowns. “Didn’t realise you were home schooled.”

“After a fashion.” Cas shrugs. “Why is it that you go to school but Kevin and Chuck stay at home?”

“Chuck would get overwhelmed pretty quick somewhere like this and he’s really sensitive to criticism ‘cause, well, it’s one of the side effects of schizophrenia I guess, which makes school pretty rough for him. Kevin’s anxiety stops him, he wouldn’t be able to deal with so many people. It’s just easier for them at home.” Dean shrugs. “My fuckupedness isn’t so restricting. I just need to avoid dickheads like Gordon Walker and I’m fine.”

“I don’t think fuckupedness is a word.”

“Sure it is.” Dean grins. “So show me your schedule then!” Cas digs it out of his bag and hands it over obligingly. Dean whistles. “I didn’t realise you were so smart Cas. Six AP classes? Dude, that’s crazy.”

“Mr Morrison seemed to think they would suit me best.” Cas seems embarrassed. “I chose Spanish because Missouri said you were good at that too and then Pysch seemed interesting.”

“We won’t be in any classes together. I don’t take AP Spanish, only honours.”

“I know but at least we can help each other.”

Dean laughs, a little unkindly, at Cas’ well intentioned smile. “Yeah ‘cause you’ll be needing help from me.”

Cas just seems confused and Dean sighs. There’s no fun in being mean to someone who doesn’t really understand what’s going on. Thankfully Jo turns up complaining loudly about the idiots in her English class and he’s saved from his own idiocy.

//

Dean grins as he says goodbye to his brother. He still gets a twist in his gut when he thinks about the fact that he’s not going to see his brother next weekend but the novelty of having Castiel around has dulled the pain a little. He wanders through the kitchen looking for the other occupants of the house. Hearing the muffled voices from the garden when he enters the kitchen he goes to join them. Missouri is doing some gardening and Chuck is hunched over the garden table scribbling in his notebook. Castiel and Kevin are knelt in the middle of the lawn carefully tying together what looks like a load of old bamboo sticks. When he gets closer he realises Castiel is telling Kevin, very seriously, about bees. “What you guys doing?”

“Building a bee hotel.” Kevin tells him, excited in a way Dean has rarely seen. “Cas says it’s kind of late for them to be around but we might get a couple living here.”

Dean smiles. “Bees?”

“I find them to be very fascinating.” Cas tells him solemnly and Dean laughs.

“Alright then.” He ruffles Kevin’s hair and pulls an errant leaf out of Cas’. “Need anything else?”

“A sturdy wooden box would be most helpful. Missouri said you’d know where one was if we had one.”

“We have an old crate I think. Would that do?”

“I believe so.”

“Right.”

After he’s got the crate out of the shed Missouri explains that the lawnmower has broken, so he takes it apart on the patio and gets distracted by the sun catching Castiel’s hair.

//

It happens on the Thursday after Castiel arrived and to be honest Dean is surprised it took them so long. Him and Cas are walking back from school and Dean is trying to impress on his friend the pure awesome that is Dr. Sexy when he realises they’re being followed.

“How fast are you at running?”

“Faster than you.” Cas replies matter of factly. Dean sincerely doubts that but now isn’t the time for the argument. “Why?”

“Well, don’t look now, but we’re being followed.” Cas immediately looks round. “No, I said don’t look. Jesus Christ.” He rolls his eyes. “Look, soon as we get to the carpark I want you to run like you’ve got a fucking hellhound on your tail, you got me?”

“No, I do not ‘get’ you.”

“Jesus Cas, now is not the time for you to decide you have an opinion, ok?”

Cas frowns, not understanding Dean. “Those boys that are following us, they want to hurt us, yes?”

“No. They want to hurt me but we’ve been hanging around together so the way they see it you’re fair game.”

“Then we should stick together. You can’t possibly take on five of them by yourself.”

“I have before.” Dean says mulishly. “Look Cas, I can look after myself and they won’t bother to go after you. You’ll be fine, safe. If you stay…” Dean trails off. “Cas, they aren’t interested in you. They’re just stupid little boys whose daddy’s don’t love them enough. Let them beat the shit of me, it’s no worse than what some of them get at home I’ll bet. They won’t kill me. Missouri will complain to the school board and nothing will be done because it wasn’t on school grounds and everything will be fine for another month or so.”

“You think I would be a liability.”

Dean sighs, frustrated. They’re nearly at the car park, Cas is going to miss his opportunity to get away. “Look, I get you’re a badass who set some guy on fire but, earth to Cas, you don’t have a freaking lighter or any petrol right now.”

“I do not need fire to protect myself.”

“Fine, but you tell Missouri I told you to leave when you come back with a black eye and a broken wrist, ok?”

Cas quirks his lips but nods. Dean gets the feeling Cas is laughing at him.

Dean’s heart sinks as they walk up the narrow path and sees Creedy leaning up against one of the thin tree trunks. Roy is opposite him, leaning on the wall, smoking a roll up. He drops it to the floor when he sees them and grinds it out with his heel. “Dean.”

“Roy. Creedy.”

"Aw. Ain't this sweet boys? Deano's got hi'self a boyfrien'." Dean swings round at the voice Gordon sneers at him as Walt and two boys he doesn’t really know snicker.

"Hilarious Gordon, seriously. You should go into comedy." Dean counters. He doesn't deny Gordon's statement, it's not worth the effort.

"I wonder who fucks who?" Walt adds. Dean can feel himself blushing and hates himself for it. The cruel laughter grows louder."Bet it's Deano who's the girl. Bet he loves it, bet he begs for it."

"Dean and I have not engaged in any sexual activity. Our relationship is purely a platonic one." Cas speaks up from behind him and Dean groans quietly.

"Cas." He hisses. "Shut up."

"Oh the li''le fag speaks do he?" Gordon asks. "Or is it you that gets fucked, huh?"

Cas steps neatly around Dean. "You should show me some respect." He tells Gordon calmly. A sudden gust of wind ghosts through Dean’s hair, somehow unsettling in the otherwise still afternoon.

"Cas you aren't supposed to be pissing them off!"

"We'll show ya some respect alrigh'." Roy pipes up from behind them.

"Teach it more like." Gordon corrects, sounding dangerous.

Cas laughs, short and sharp. "Yes, seven against two. Quite the odds. Not exactly what I'd call a fair fight.” His eyes flicker over the boys and then back to Gordon. “Are you too scared to fight Dean one to one? Is that it? Frightened you'd lose?" The challenge is obvious.

"You callin' us cowards?"

"Yes. I do believe I am." Castiel says and there’s a smirk in his voice.

Gordon makes a furious noise and charges towards Castiel. Dean tries to get in between them but he isn’t fast enough, something slows him down.

And then Gordon is flat on the ground, groaning. Cas almost laughs. “Told you I didn’t need fire to protect myself.” He’s looking over his shoulder at Dean, his eyes alight with something like amusement. Dean is suddenly overwhelmed by an acute sense of terror in his chest at the look on Castiel’s face.

Although the fight that follows is brutal it doesn’t last long, mostly thanks to Castiel. He fights with an ease and elegance Dean has never seen before. Dean is not nearly so graceful. They fight perfectly together, like they’ve been doing it for years. They communicate as effectively as if they're reading each other's minds.

At some point in the fight Gordon heaves himself off the ground only to be knocked straight back down by Dean.

The fight ends when three of Dean and Cas' opponents are on the floor, another only standing with the support of the wall. The three left standing aren't in brilliant shape either; Creedy winces with every breath, Roy's left eye has already begun to start swelling shut and Walt  is cradling his right wrist to his chest

Dean spits some blood to the floor and then grins. "Who next Cas?"

"I don't mind Dean. You can choose." Cas sounds disinterested as he straightens his shirt out.

Creedy shakes his head pathetically. "I can't take no more. Can't we call it quits?"

"You never seemed very eager to do that when it was just me against three or four of you guys." Dean shakes his head. "No way. There was five of you once, remember? You didn't stop kicking me even when I was on the floor. So give me one good reason why I should stop now, I dare you."

He takes a step forward and Creedy steps backwards. Cas reaches out and puts his hand on Dean's shoulder, giving it a gentle tug to make Dean face him. Dean tries to jerk his shoulder out of Cas' grip but fails. “Enough.”

Dean runs his thumb over the cut in his lip. “Yeah.” He gives a long sigh. “Ok. Let’s go.” Cas lets go of his shoulder and they walk up the path together, the three bullies hastening to get out of their way.

//

"Where'd you learn to fight like that? That was some kinda martial art shit, wasn't it?" Dean asks Cas, trying to scrub away to the blood from around his mouth. Thankfully he and Roy were the only ones who had any visible damage to their faces; if they’d all come in the next day with bruised faces someone would have kicked up a fuss.

"It is not one particular discipline, more of a mixture of various forms." Cas tells him, as he inspects his shirt. "I picked it up while we lived in New York."

"Cool. Think you could teach me some of it?"

"If you want."

"Nice."

There's a loud sigh."I've ripped my new shirt." Cas informs Dean, sounding utterly morose and for some reason it makes Dean laugh.

"It's not funny Dean." Cas growls at him.

Dean is laughing too hard to verbally disagree and the inexplicable terror Cas inspired only a short while ago is completely forgotten. Still laughing he just shakes his head and slings his arm over Cas' shoulders. Once he's calmed down a bit he ruffles Cas' hair.

"Sorry man."

"Apology accepted."

"And, you know,” He removes his arm from Cas’ shoulders and rubs the back of his neck. “Thanks for back there." Dean can't look at Cas when he says this, finding his shoes too interesting.

"I'm told that's what friends are for."

"Yeah." Dean looks up at Cas and smiles. "I guess it is."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, I'd love to know what you thought!
> 
> Next chapter on Thursday.


	4. Not a normal platonic friendship between two guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's late; I was quite ill yesterday so I hope you'll forgive me!
> 
> It's a nice long chapter to make up for it. Unbeta-ed so I'll repost at a later date and all mistakes are my own. 
> 
> There'll be a Christmas chapter next week but in the meantime I hope you enjoy this one.

That weekend they go shopping for Castiel. He’d spent most of the week in Dean and Benny’s old cast offs which don’t fit him well at all. He’s about the same height as them both but much slimmer and as a consequence their clothes hang off him, making him look even smaller.

Buying his new bed is easy enough but then Missouri suggests that he go and choose a new duvet cover. He brings back something from the children’s section; the duvet is covered by a drawing of the solar system and according to the label the planets glow in the dark.

Dean snorts when he sees it. “Dude, that’s for kids.” He looks up in time to see the excited expression on Cas’ face disappear.

“Oh.” Castiel says, sounding unhappy. “I did not realise. I will go pick something else.”

“No!” Dean says quickly and far too loudly. “Missouri told you to get what you want and it’s not like anyone’s going to see it if it’s in your bedroom right?”

“I suppose not.” Castiel still looks uncertain. Dean feels like kicking himself.

“It’s glow in the dark huh? That’s pretty cool. Kevin and Chuck will be really jealous.”

“Yes. I liked the stars on their bedroom ceiling even more once I realised that they glowed in the dark.”

“You’ve never seen glow in the dark stars before?”

Cas shakes his head. “No. The… The place where I lived before I moved here, we weren’t allowed to put anything on the walls of our dorm.” Cas tells him. “We weren’t allowed to help with the shopping at all so I’ve never chosen my own bed linen before either.”

That makes Dean feel like even more of an asshole.

//

Castiel looks terrified when they go into the clothes shop and his expression still hasn’t changed ten minutes later. Missouri has left the two of them alone but Dean is seriously wishing she hadn’t. From what Cas had said when they were buying his bed it’s obvious he’s never had to choose his own clothes before and he’s struggling. Dean has a suspicion that he’d happily have stayed in his rumpled suit, backwards tie and trenchcoat forever if they had let him. Dean sighs.

“What’s your favourite colour?”

“Blue.” Castiel says immediately but then he looks at Dean and a small blush creeps over his cheekbones. “But I like green a lot too.”

“Ok.” He looks around. “Well that’s somewhere to start. The stuff you’ve been wearing, mine and Benny’s old stuff, what did you like best?”

“I like your shirts and the one without any pattern the most. I like the jumper of Benny’s too, although it was too big for me.”

“Well you can start by picking out some shirts and a couple of jumpers and then pick stuff that goes well with them.”

Cas seems to prefer cool colours; only choosing shirts that are dark blue or green and complementing them with grey t-shirts and henleys.

The only colourful thing he buys is a pair of red converses.

After they’ve finished shopping for Castiel, Missouri suggests they look in the charity shop. She often buys her clothes in there and Dean once got a really good pair of boots so he doesn’t complain.

Clearly someone roughly the same size as Dean and Castiel has just donated a load of clothes. Castiel immediately finds a light grey waistcoat that he really likes and Dean picks out a battered black leather jacket. He tries it on but it’s too tight across the shoulders for him. Castiel doesn’t want to try it but Dean insists. It fits him perfectly and Dean whistles at him.

“You have got to get that Cas.”

Cas tugs at the sleeves. “You think I look good?”

“You look awesome, trust me, girls will be falling over themselves to get a piece of you when they see you in that.”

Cas sighs. “I doubt that.”

“Seriously, biker jacket, bed hair and those baby blues? You are gonna be rolling in it my friend.”

Missouri hits him across the back of the head. “Ignore him Castiel, honey. It’s your choice.”

Dean snaps a picture of him on his phone and sends it to Jo.

Kind of look chicks love y/n?

Jo texts him back almost immediately.

Yes. boy looks hot. but stop calling girls chicks you sexist pig

“See! Jo thinks you look hot.” Dean says triumphantly.

“I fail to see what my temperature has to do with anything.”

Dean stares at Cas in disbelief and then laughs. “She agrees with me, about you suiting it.”

“Ok.” Castiel smiles at Missouri. “I would like to purchase it please.”

//

They set up the bed in Benny’s old room that afternoon. Missouri had offered to repaint it if he wanted but Cas had declined insisting he liked the dark blue and cream colour scheme. It doesn’t take them long to set up the bed but Dean flops down on it when they’re finished as though he’s completely worn out.

“Hey!” Cas hits his leg. “It is my bed, not yours!”

“Sorry, princess. It’s pretty darn comfy.”  

“Well I wouldn’t know because you’re taking up all the room on my bed.”

Dean laughs and shifts over, patting the bed beside him. He doesn’t really expect Castiel to take up the offer but he does. Dean is shocked into silence; overwhelmed by the warm body pressed up against his side and Cas’ distinctive smell which is part lemon shower gel and part something like the smell you get after a rainstorm after it hasn’t rained in weeks. It’s an intoxicating combination.

“It is going to be strange having my own bedroom; I have always shared a room with my siblings.” Castiel tells him, turning his head to look around the room. “And then you of course.”

“Well, you can always come back if you feel lonely.” Dean laughs but it’s shaky. He blushes.

“Thank you.” Castiel turns his head to look at him and he’s much too close.

“Dude.” Dean clears his throat, feeling uncomfortable. “Did no one ever teach you about personal space?”

“My apologies.” Cas moves back a little, his open expression closing off.Dean feels foolish when he immediately misses the warmth of Cas’ side pressed up against his.

“No. It’s ok. I don’t mind, it’s just, you ought to be careful, people might think…” Dean trails off as he looks at Castiel.

“What might people think?” Castiel looks back, his wide eyed expression trusting and innocent.

“Nothing.” Dean shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. So. You gonna put up any posters?”

//

Although Dean normally spends a lot of his free time at Bobby’s, tinkering with the Impala, he hasn’t been in over a week. When he’d mentioned where he was going Castiel had begged to come, apparently wanting to see the car Dean had mentioned several times.

Bobby raises his eyebrows when he sees Castiel standing behind Dean “So you’re the reason Dean ain’t visited in me in days then?” He asks gruffly.

Castiel blushes and stutters. Dean laughs. “Be nice.” He tells Bobby. The old man huffs.

“Bobby Singer.” He sticks his hand out and Castiel shakes it after only a second of hesitation.

“Castiel Novak.”

Bobby raises his eyebrows again. “Unusual name.”

Castiel shrugs. “I’m told my mother wanted to name me James.”

“Well I met a load o’ Jimmy’s but you’re the first Castiel.” Bobby hands Dean the keys to the Impala’s shed and Dean nods in thanks.  

“See, you’re unique.” Dean winks at Castiel. “Come on. I’ll race you to the sheds.” He takes off running.

“Hey! That’s not fair Dean!” Cas shouts after him but Dean only laughs. Somehow Cas manages to beat him by ten metres or more and Dean is painfully short of breath when he reaches the sheds.

“Told you that I’m faster than you are.” Cas says and his smile is practically a smirk.

“Screw you.”

//

The atmosphere in the small workshop is comfortable. The radio is on and Dean is halfway under the Impala, singing to himself. Cas is sitting on the floor, using a stool as a makeshift table doing some math homework. Sometimes Dean asks Castiel to pass him something and then ends up getting it himself because Cas doesn’t know what he’s asking for.

Bobby comes up after they’ve been there about an hour with some battered pie.

“Bobby you’re the best.” Dean says as he takes the pie. “Look Cas! Pie!”

“Yes, I can see that Dean.” Bobby snorts with laughter. “Thank you, Mr Singer.” Castiel says as he’s handed his plate.

“Call me Bobby.” Dean gives a happy sigh as he bites into the pie and Bobby rolls his eyes. “It’s jus’ some leftovers Ellen gave me. No need to get excited.”

“It’s pecan.” Dean sighs happily. “Pass me a coke from the cooler, would ya Cas?”

Cas does as he’s asked, getting one for himself and Bobby too. He moves his homework from the stool and sits down, balancing the plate on his knees.

Bobby sits on the low bench running round the edge of the workshop. “You know what your name means, Castiel?”

“Well it doesn’t mean anything as such but I know who I am named for if that’s what you mean.”

Bobby nods and takes a drink from the can. Dean looks from one to the other. “Anytime either of you wants to fill me in that’d be swell.” He says sarcastically.

“Recognised the name soon as I heard it but couldn’t place it; had to go look it up but I was right. Your boy here is named after an angel.”

Dean looks over in surprise at Cas. “Huh. That’s cool. I’m just named after my grandmother.”

“That’s nice though, to have the link to your family.”

“I guess... You the angel of anything in particular?”

Dean is looking at Castiel but it’s Bobby who answers. “Often considered the angel of travel and changes, in a few pieces of scripture the angel of solitude and tears but most commonly…”

“The angel of Thursday.” Castiel says it quietly but the pride is unmissable.

Bobby nods and points the tip of his coke bottle at Cas. “Yep.”

“What does that mean? ‘Angel of Thursday’? What’s his job?”

“Anyone who is born on a Thursday that prays to him will receive his aid.” Castiel explains. “Or anyone who asks for help on a Thursday.”

“Like a guardian angel?”

“Yes, I suppose.”

“Don’t stay too late.” Bobby tells them as he stands up.

“Won’t do. Thanks for the pie!”

“Yes, thank you very much, Mr Singer.”

“I told yer, call me Bobby.” He adjusts his trucker hat and pauses by the door. “Dean was born on a Thursday.”

Then he leaves and the two boys are left staring at each other. “I guess that makes you my guardian angel then.” Dean had meant to sound joking but his voice comes out low and sincere. He blushes.

Cas just gives him a shy smile. “I guess it does.”

//

Next week Cas gets moved to Dean’s English lit class because it’s become apparent that he’s useless at writing essays and it’s only his encyclopedic knowledge of dates and facts that keeps him in AP World History. Him and Dean sit at the back of English Lit and Dean tries in vain not to laugh at Cas’ increasingly bizarre questions.

//

Life is pretty easy with Cas around, he’s kind, if painfully honest and somehow his lack of social skills only make him endearing. He is unfailingly patient when he helps Dean with his math and Spanish homework and he never makes Dean feel stupid. He listens carefully to Chuck’s stories and when he finds Kevin reordering all the books in the living room he sits down without a question and starts to help.

The only thing about Castiel is how physical he is. When the two of them are sitting on the sofa Cas sits right beside Dean; thighs touching, sometimes even resting his head on Dean’s shoulder. When Dean collapses on his bed at the end of a long day Cas will often lie down beside him rather than go to his own bed.

Dean doesn’t know how to tell Cas this isn’t how normal platonic friendships between two guys work and truth be told he kind of likes it. Kevin is uneasy with physical contact and Chuck finds it difficult to stay still for anything longer than the shortest of hugs; Dean and Benny have a strong relationship sure, but not the kind where you lie side by side talking about the day. There’s Jo as well of course but she prefers punches and using him as a footrest to show her affection. Her hugs, when they come, somehow always seem desperate. As a consequence Castiel’s easy affection is comforting and it fills a gap in Dean that he didn’t know he had. He doesn’t tell Cas this but his complaints fool no one.

Cas is, thankfully, more reserved when they are out in public and he never tries to hold Dean’s hand, for which Dean is immensely grateful. He never asks Cas about it, assuming it is just one of those things that comes from being a kid in the system. He finally gets an answer when him and Jo decide to have a movie marathon weekend. They chose the Lord of the Rings trilogy purely because Castiel has never seen them but he’s just finished reading Dean’s old copies.

Somehow, towards the end of the Fellowship, Jo ends up sitting on the floor in front of Cas. He immediately starts playing with her hair.

“Cas, what are you doing?”

“Playing with your hair.” He replies as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. It takes another couple of moments before he realises Dean is staring at him and Jo is tensed up. His hands still. “Is this not acceptable?” He sounds utterly confused. “I used to do this with my sisters.”

“Oh.” Jo relaxes. Cas is still confused and Dean shrugs. “Sorry Cas, it’s just normally? Guy does that it probably means he’s interested in you.”

“But I am in interested in you! You are a very interesting person.”

Dean laughs. “Not that kind of interested, you know, interested like you like her.”

“I like both of you, you’re my friends.”

This time both of them laugh at him. They speak simultaneously.

“Interested as in romantically interested.”

“Like as in you’d like to fuck her.”

“DEAN!” Jo swings her arm out and punches Dean as hard as she can.

“What was that for?!”

“You know full well what it was for.”

“Huh.” Dean rubs his leg. “Totally uncalled for.”

“Whatever.” Jo turns her head to look at Castiel and smiles at him. “It’s ok if you want to play with my hair Castiel, my mum used to do that a lot when I was a kid. It’s nice.”

“As long as you don’t mind. I promise I am not ‘interested in you’ as you call it.”

Jo shakes her head and laughs. “Go right ahead.”

They are all quiet for a while, focussing on the film. Eventually Jo speaks up again. “Is that why you’re so affectionate with Dean? Like sitting so close and stuff? That’s how you were with your siblings?”

“Yes of course.” Castiel frowns as he says it. “Is that inappropriate behaviour too?”

“No, ‘course not.” Dean says, trying to give Jo a subtle kick. It fails and she turns to glare at him. “Cas?”

“Yes Dean?”

The credits have started to roll and Dean stares at the screen for a moment, unsure how to phrase the questions about Castiel’s past that have been nagging at him for the last few weeks.

“When you were growing up, how much time did you spend with people who weren’t in your family?”

“It depends what you count as family but essentially none.” Jo and Dean stare at him, wordless in shock. Cas gives a small smile. “It seems strange to you, I’m sure, but I never knew anything different. My family is very large as well so it was never boring.”

“How large?”

“Well I have 16 siblings, six sisters and ten brothers.” Castiel smiles. “Although no one in our family was biologically related except Michael and Gabriel who are half brothers, not that it ever mattered to us. Michael liked us to call him Father and he used to visit us once or twice a month. Raphael, Uriel and Gabriel acted as our uncles and Anna as our aunt. Gabriel used to live with us until I turned fourteen and then he moved away although he used to visit from time to time. Raphael and Uriel visited us very rarely. Anna lived with us at the facility and helped to bring us up although wasn’t brilliant at it.” Castiel laughs. “She was only nineteen when Balthazar, my oldest brother and my closest friend growing up, was born and she’s very easily distracted. Meg helped a bit with the younger ones as well but of course she wasn’t around when I was small.”

“Meg?” Dean interrupts, trying to wrap his head around the idea of having sixteen siblings.

“She was Alistair’s adopted daughter and if you let me finish Dean I will explain who Alistair is.” Castiel gives Dean a stern look and Dean smiles at him sheepishly. “Alistair is the man who Michael employed the run the facility but he is very cruel. Meg is nothing like him and I consider her to be a good friend. She’s only five years older than me.”

“Wow.” Jo looks how Dean feels. “So if you weren’t related how did you end up at the, what did you call it?”

“We called it the facility. It’s a large estate in Maine in a big old house. It was a very nice place to grow up and to answer your question Jo, we were born there. Michael had a program to help young girls who lived on the streets in New York. Often they had drink or drug problems or had run away from broken homes. They had no where to go and were in no position to have a child. Michael offered them the chance to move to the facility, have their child and then help them get a good job and any qualifications they needed.”

“They just had to leave their kids behind?” Dean can’t help how horrified he sounds.

“Yes. It was a good system. They were all too young to be mothers. My mother was younger than me, around Jo’s age I think when she had me. Michael helped them. They didn’t know who had fathered their child. It was a good system.”

Dean just shakes his head, he doesn’t want to upset Cas so he just moves on. “Then you moved to New York?”

“Not exactly.” Castiel laughs. “I ran away along with Balthazar, Ephra and Azrael. We lived in New York for sixth months until Gabriel found us. Balthazar and Azrael are older than me so they’re legally adults. They couldn’t do anything to them but I am still underage and unlike Ephra I couldn’t go back to the facility because of what I had done to Alistair and so I ended up here. It was felt it would be good for to be apart from my family for a while.”

“What did you do to Alistair?” Jo asks.

“I set him on fire. He hurt my youngest brother while drunk. Unfortunately he sustained no lasting damage, unlike Samandriel who hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since, last I heard.”

“Note to self, don’t piss Cas off.” Jo mutters. Dean grins and ruffles Castiel’s hair.

“I could of  told you that. You should of seen him fighting with Gordon Walker and his gang. Guy’s a badass.”

Cas smiles but he doesn’t say anything and when Jo goes to change the disk the conversation moves on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if it got a bit stodgy at the end but Castiel's past needed to be established and I wasn't sure where else to put it. 
> 
> I'd love a comment, I haven't had any so far and I can't help but wonder if anyone is actually reading this :s 
> 
> Thank you to snorkdesign, neocosplaycat and FallingStars for the kudos! :D


	5. Cut feet and holding hands

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Inferification and neocosplaycat for commenting, you made my day! 
> 
> I know Christmassy at all, that will come at some point before Thursday I promise.
> 
> Unbeta-ed.

Their first fight happens on a Friday night. It’s raining lightly.  The leaves have started to turn and the nights are getting cold; Summer has quietly shifted into Fall without anyone noticing.

Dean is struggling at school, especially in Math whereas Castiel is excelling in all his subjects. Dean feels stupid next to his friend and it frustrates him. Castiel offers over and over again to help him with it but Dean’s jealously overwhelms him and he refuses. He eventually accepts Castiel’s offer but something about Castiel’s calm patience and belief that Dean will get there, he just has to keep working at it makes Dean snap.

It’s been a long week for Dean. The Adlers have called up to say that Sam won’t be visiting at all this year, not for Thanksgiving or Christmas. He’d slipped up while working on the Impala’s engine and he can’t afford to replace the parts he’d ruined. He hasn’t spent any time with Benny in ages. Chuck had a meltdown at two in the morning last night. It’s the anniversary of the death of Kevin’s parents and Kevin refuses to leave his cupboard despite everyone’s best efforts. Chuck won’t stop crying and keeps trying to hurt himself.

The anger he’s gotten so good at controlling rears it’s ugly head once again.

“Fuck this. I’m clearly too fucking stupid. Not good for anyfuckingthing.” Castiel just sits there, calm and composed. “And you! You just sit there all fucking smug and clever. Think you’re better than me, do you Castiel? Cause you’re smart huh? Not like fucking Dean who’s never gonna get anywhere cause he’s so fucking stupid!” His voice rises, upset and angry and he hates it. He’s stood up somewhere in the rant but Castiel just looks at him.

“Of course I don’t think I’m better than you Dean. If you would just sit down I’m sure we could…”

“Will you shut the fuck up?!”

“Dean…”

Dean shoves everything off of the kitchen table; books, papers and the vase of flowers Missouri had bought earlier that week. The vase shatters as it hits the floor and the water bleeds out onto Castiel’s carefully written notes. The ink blooms and distorts.

“Was that really necessary?” For the first time Cas sounds irritated.

“Fuck off.” Dean storms out, grinding his heel into the flower heads. A piece of glass cuts through the thin sole of his slippers but he doesn’t stop.

He grabs his boots and yanks them on, ignoring the blood that’s already staining his sock. Castiel is standing in the kitchen doorway watching him.

“Don’t wait up.” Dean sneers. He slams the front door as he leaves.

It’s raining, the kind of light drizzle that clings uncomfortably to your clothes but Dean doesn’t go back for his coat. He walks aimlessly around until he can no longer bear the pain in his foot. He’s in the park and he forces himself to the nearest park bench. It’s nearly dark and he’s soaked to the skin. He pulls out his phone.

“The Adler residence, may I ask who is calling?”

“Hey Mrs Adler. It’s Dean. I just wanted to speak to Sammy.”

“I’m afraid he’s doing his homework right now. I’ll get him to call you back later.”

Dean tips his head back and stares up at the sky. “Please Naomi. I just need to hear my baby brother’s voice.”

She sniffs. “Five minutes.”

“Thank you.” Dean closes his eyes and listens to the muffled sounds on the other end of the phone.

“Who is it?”

“Hey Sammy.”

“Dean!” The excited tone of Sam’s voice makes Dean smile. “I haven’t heard from you in ages!”

Dean doesn’t tell him that he calls nearly every day but gets one of the Adlers nearly every time. They always tell Dean that Sam is busy, that they’ll tell him he called. They never do.

“Well I’ve been really busy Sammy.”

“It’s Sam.”

“Whatever bitch.” Dean laughs.

“Jerk.”

“Aw you don’t mean that.” Dean grins. “So what you been up to Sammy?”

Dean wants to cry as he listens to his little brother chatter on about his friends and about the new girl Jessica. “She’s really pretty Dean and she’s really clever too. She wants to be a doctor!”

“That’s great Sammy. She sounds great.”

“Dean you ok?”

“Course I am. You know me. Always ok.”

“Dean.” Sam tries to sound stern on the other end of the phone and Dean sighs.

“I had a fight with Cas.”

“He’s the new guy living with you isn’t he?”

“Yeah. I’ve had a really shit week and I took it out on him.”

“You’re an idiot.”

Dean laughs despite himself. “That’s kind of the problem. I’m not smart like you and Cas.”

“You’re an idiot because you took out your frustration on your best friend not because you’re struggling at school.” Sam tells him seriously.

“How did you know I’m struggling at school?”

“Because you’re my brother.”

“Right.” There is a moment of silence.

“Dean?”

“Yes Sam?”

“You do know that just because you aren’t really good at school you aren’t stupid? There is more than one way of being clever. I don’t know anyone who can fix stuff like you can.” Sam sounds genuinely proud of him and Dean has to blink really hard so he doesn’t start to cry.

“Thanks Sammy. When did you get so grown up?”

Dean can hear Sam’s shrug. “While you weren’t looking I guess. Look I got to go, dinner’s ready. Will you be ok?”

“Of course I will.”

“Say sorry to Cas.”

“Yessir.”

“Love you Dean.”

“You too Sammy.”

“Sam!”

“Bitch.”

“Jerk.” Sam laughs as he hangs up the phone.

//

It’s after eleven when Dean finally gets home. He’d sat on the park bench for a long time after he’d finished speaking to Sam and it had taken him a long time to walk back because his foot was hurting so much. He just wants to sleep when he gets back and Castiel’s bedroom door is shut, the light off. Dean tells himself he can apologise in the morning. He yanks off his jeans and jacket and falls into his bed.

He doesn’t sleep well that night. His nightmares trouble him for the first time since Castiel arrived.  

//

Somewhere on the edge of Dean’s awareness someone is knocking on a door. Light falls on his face. “Dean? Dean you need to wake up.”

Dean groans. “Cas?”

“I’m afraid so. I was sent to wake you up. Benny and Andrea are here.”

“Oh fuck.” He forces himself to sit up. Cas is standing in his doorway, his face impassive. Dean looks away, shame flooding him. He kicks his covers away and puts his feet down on the floor and hisses in pain. He’d forgotten about his foot.

“You cut your foot last night.”

“Yeah.”

“Stay there. I will get the first aid kit.” Castiel turns away.

“Don’t you think it’s a little late for that?” Dean calls after him but he doesn’t seem to hear. He sighs and peels off his sock. He had been too tired to bother last night but he’s regretting it now. It’s stained dark with his blood and it peels away the scab that had formed.

Then Castiel is back and he kneels down at Dean’s feet. He wipes away the blood, both new and old and then applies some antiseptic cream.

“Sonuvabitch.”

“Yes it does sting a bit.”

“A bit?” Dean’s voice is indignant. Castiel’s mouth twitches.

“Well next time you are angry with me do not try to make a point by walking over broken glass.”

Dean winces. “About that…” He watches as Castiel gently applies a plaster. “I, err…”

“It’s ok Dean.”

“No. It isn’t.”

“Maybe not.” Castiel rests on his heels and looks up at Dean. “But now is not the time. We can talk this evening. Get dressed, there is a small girl downstairs who is very eager to see you.” He stands up and walks towards the door.

“Cas?” Dean says it quietly but his friend still turns around. “We’re… We’re ok, right?”

And although it is a little tired, Castiel smiles for the first time that morning. “Of course we are Dean.”

//

To say that Dean has better day than Friday was would be a vast understatement.

When he gets downstairs his goddaughter launches herself at him. “Hey there princess.” He laughs. “Someone’s happy to see me.” He reaches down and picks her up. She giggles.

“Dean!”

“That’s right.” He looks over to the kitchen table. Benny is sitting there with a small smile on his face, his cap atop his head like usual. “Hey Benny.”

“Brother.”

“Didn’t realise you were comin’ today.”

Benny shrugs slowly. “Thought maybe ‘twas about time we caught up.”

“Damn straight.” Dean grins back.

“Dean.” Andrea tugs on his hair, fed up with being ignored.

“Sorry sweetie. You staying here today?”

“No. Missy said we’re gonna go to the park an’ get ice cream.”

“All day?”

“Yep. Ice cream all day.”

Benny laughs. “Don’t think so little bit. You’re gonna go see Ellen and Bobby, ain’t tha’ right?”

“Ice cream.” Andrea replies seriously.

“She clearly knows what she wants.” The low voice is laced with amusement and it makes Dean smile. He hides his grin in Andrea’s hair. Benny smirks.

“Hello Andrea.” The little girl goes shy and buries her head in Dean’s shoulder. Dean laughs.

“Come on baby girl. Don’t be shy; he’s nice, I promise.” She peeks up at Cas but won’t smile. “You want to hold her Cas?”

“I’m not sure she would like to be held by me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, she’ll get used to you soon. Just don’t drop her.”

“I will not drop her.” Cas lifts her gently out of Dean’s arms. “Hello there.”

Andrea looks uncertainly at Benny and then at Dean. They both smile at her so she turns to look at Castiel. “I’m Castiel.” He tells her. “But my friends call me Cas.”

“Cas.”

“That’s right.” Castiel smiles at her and she gives him a shy grin in return.

“Andy.” She points at herself.

“It’s very nice to meet you Andy.”

The little girl doesn’t know how to respond so she just shrugs. “We’re goin’ to the park today.”

“Yes we are.”

“Bu’ Daddy an’ Dean are staying here.” Andrea pulls a face.

“Daddy has a promise to keep sweetie.” Benny tells her.

“Promises are important?”

“Yes they are.” It is Castiel who responds, not Benny. The little girl looks up at him.

“Is Cas coming to the park?”

“Yes I am. Shall we go find Missouri? Kevin and Chuck are nearly ready to go to their group therapy session.” Dean shares a grin with Benny. It is very like Castiel to speak the same way to a three year old as he does to an adult.

Andrea shakes her head. “Wanna say goodbye to Daddy and Dean.”

“Of course.”

//

Dean and Benny spend the day in the garden, finally assembling the hammock that Missouri’s been telling them to for weeks.

It’s simple and he’s comfortable in a way he hasn’t been in a while. It’s not that he doesn’t like Cas, nothing could be further from the truth but Dean’s relationship with Benny is easy whereas with Cas? Well it’s kinda complicated.

Benny asks for nothing from Dean but for him to pull his weight  and easy conversation. Benny has never let Dean down.

When Dean had first arrived at Missouri’s, angry and lost it was Benny who had taken him under his wing. Benny who had taught him that fighting isn’t always the answer first and then taught him to fight properly for the times when it is. He had never asked Dean to change or told him that he was broken. He treated him as an equal, and as a friend.

When Andrea had been dumped in his arms by an half dead, heroin addicted ex girlfriend, only a year and half old, Benny had immediately asked Dean to be her godfather. Dean had accepted with pride.

Benny lets Dean talk, about Sam and about Cas and everything else and he offers simple but good advice and never chastises Dean. Other than that, they spend their day in comfortable silence.

It’s perfect.

//

When they’ve finished dinner Benny and Andrea say their goodbyes. Dean notices Cas slip out into the garden but does nothing until Benny and Andrea have left.

He makes the two of them hot chocolate, getting a blanket while the milk is heating up.

“Hey Cas.”

“Hello Dean.” Cas’ voice is low and rough and he sounds sad. Dean passes him the hot chocolate and after putting his on the ground he drapes the blanket over Castiel’s shoulders. Then he sits down and the two of them sit in silence for a while.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I was an asshole and I was having a shitty day and I took it out on you and I’m sorry.” He speaks too quickly, anxious to have Cas forgive him.

Castiel stares down at his drink, dipping his finger in it and pulling out some marshmallows. He sucks them off his finger. “I am sorry also. I behaved badly.”

“I’m not sure what you’re remembering Cas,” Dean gives an incredulous laugh. “but I remember me being a dick when you were only trying to help.”

Castiel shakes his head. “Then I accept your apology wholeheartedly.”

“That’s good.” Dean can’t help his smile. “Don’t like fighting with you Cas.”

“I did not enjoy it either.” Castiel gives Dean a small smile.

“Come and see what Benny and I did today.” Dean leads Castiel to the back of the garden, behind the shed. The hammock the two of them set up rocks slightly as Dean slips by. He sits on the small stool beside the hammock and turns to look at his friend

“Come on, it’s perfectly safe.” He gestures to the hammock. Castiel sits down gingerly, taking care not to spill his hot chocolate. His feet are bare and his toes trail through the grass as Dean gives the hammock a gentle push.

“You ok?” Dean asks. Castiel still looks sad.

“Today is Samandriel’s birthday.” Cas looks at his hands. He sounds utterly helpless.

“Oh. Samandriel one of your brothers?”

“My youngest. The one Alistair hurt.” Castiel drains his cup and places it on the ground. Then he lies down in the hammock.

Dean doesn’t know what to say. “You know,” he says after a while, “I don’t know when your birthday is.”

“It is the same day as yours.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“That’s pretty cool.”

“I suppose it is.” Cas turns his head to look at Dean. “I’m cold.”

“Liar.”

“Yes.”

Dean rolls his eyes and puts his cup beside Castiel’s. “Budge over.” It takes Dean several minutes before he’s lying comfortably beside Castiel. “I’m sorry you missed your brother’s birthday.”

Cas says nothing, but he moves his hand so it is resting right beside Dean’s. Dean gently hooks his fingers around Cas’s.

They lie there in silence for a long time, holding hands. It occurs to Dean after a while that they passed the point of plausible deniability a long time ago. He can’t find it in himself to care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments would be welcome! Have a nice Christmas Eve :)


	6. Christmastime

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, I know it's a little late for Christmas but life's been kinda hectic, I'm sure you can all sympathise!
> 
> Unbeta-ed and it's late at night. I apologise for any mistakes.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!

 

Fall is largely uneventful. After a few weeks of Castiel sitting at the back of the workshop doing his homework while Dean worked on the Impala or a customer's car Bobby had sighed and told him he might as well make himself useful. Castiel starts working in Bobby’s office, sorting out twenty years of badly filed paperwork. It would send both Bobby and Dean crazy but Cas seems to enjoy it.

Thanksgiving comes and goes without any drama. Missouri and her boys spent as it as they did every year, at the Roadhouse with Jo, Ellen and Bobby. The weather turned and it got very cold although it had yet to snow.

The days pass and, quicker than Dean was expecting, it's December. Dean loves Christmas, it's his favourite time of year but it's the first time he's ever not seen Sam at some time over the holiday period. Consequently for the first week of December he is miserable and refuses to even attempt to get into the festive spirit, until he discovers that Cas has never really done Christmas before.

Apparently Gabriel had done his best but Michael had been highly uncooperative and banned any presents from the outside world and Anna had been brought up in an orthodox Jewish family. Faced with such odds Gabriel had, in Dean's opinion, performed admirably. He had smuggled sweets in by the sack-full, taught the children how to make paper chains and had a tree brought in from the grounds.

Dean was determined that Castiel's first proper Christmas was going to be 'totally awesome' and threw himself into his task with an almost alarming vigour. Missouri had gently taken Castiel aside to tell him that he should tell Dean to stop if Dean was overwhelming him.

"I am quite happy to be his distraction from the fact that he isn't going to see Sam this Christmas," was his calm reply. Missouri had just looked at him and then shook her head.

"You boys never stop surprising me. Dean's lucky to have such a good frien'."

"I am the lucky one in our friendship, I would think."

//

"Dean?"

"Yes Cas?"

The two boys are sitting at each end of Castiel's bed. Dean has a car magazine open on his lap and Cas is sitting cross-legged, turning the pages of his book with one hand and casually stroking Dean's ankle with the other.

"I do not know what to get for you for Christmas, or for anyone in fact."

"You don't need to get me anything Cas."

"Do not be ridiculous Dean Winchester. You informed me gift giving was customary at Christmas. It would be absurd not to get a gift for the person I care for most."

"Aw shucks Cas." Dean's voice is joking but he's blushing nonetheless.

"Dean. I really do need your help with this. I have never purchased a gift before. What if I get you something you dislike?"

"Cas, you couldn't possibly get me something I wouldn't like. Seriously, so long as you've put some thought into I'll love it. That's all that matters, that you've put some thought into it."

Cas looks pensive for a few minutes and Dean pretends to read his car magazine. Eventually Cas carefully places his book on his bedside table and lies down.

"Dean?"

"Man, you are such a freaking girl," Dean grumbles as he drops his magazine on the floor and crawls up the bed to sit beside his friend. He begins to card his fingers through Castiel's hair.

"And yet you never refuse. What does that make you?"

"Shut up."

"Eloquent as ever."

Dean tugs a little in retaliation on Castiel's hair. Cas doesn't respond quite how Dean anticipated, instead giving a moan that does terrible things to Dean's insides. He clears his throat.

"So, err, what were you gonna get Missouri?"

"I thought we established that I don't know what to get for anyone!"

"Oh right. Yeah. Um. Well what do think she would like?" Cas responds with an irritated sigh and Dean hastens to correct himself. "I mean think about stuff she likes doing and think of stuff to do with that."

"Something to do with the garden?" Castiel offers. "She enjoys spending her time out there. Perhaps a CD of classical music?"

"No classical music. She might play it around the house and I can't stand classical stuff. You can't sing along to it."

Cas huffs at him."Classical music is a lot better than you give it credit for. It is certainly better than a lot of the drivel  you -mph!"

Dean shoves his hand over Cas's mouth. "Don't even think about finishing that sentence. My taste in music is awesome. You should be thanking me for the education."

Cas licks his palm.

"Jesus Christ. That's disgusting. Cas!" Dean yelps as he yanks his hand away. He wipes it on Cas' front as Castiel laughs. "You're such an idiot."

//

Snow comes on the last weekend before Christmas Day. Dean had stayed up late the night before, putting the final touches to Castiel's present and oversleeps as a consequence. He is woken up by several loud thumps on his window. Groaning he rolls out of bed and yanks open the curtain. He is greeted by the site of Jo standing on the lawn, hands on hips, surrounded by snow. He pulls the window open.

"What the hell Harvelle?"

"It's snowed!" She yells back.

"Yes I can see that!"

"Well someone wasn't answering his phone!"

"I slept in, sue me."

"Up past your bedtime? Cas keeping you up?"

"Oh screw you Harvelle." Dean can feel himself blushing.

"Right back at'cha Winchester." She winks at him. "Now get your lazy ass down here."

He gets dressed quickly, and then knocks on Castiel's door. "You awake Cas?"

Cas opens the door. "When am I not?"

"Fair point. Put on something warm."

"Why?"

"You looked outside this morning?"

"No."

"Put some warm clothes on and meet me in the garden."

"Has it snowed at last?"

"Got it in one." Dean grins. "See you in five, yeah?"

//

Kevin and Chuck are building a snowman in the front yard, under the careful supervision of Missouri. It makes Dean smile, they look like a normal family.

When he steps into the back garden he is greeted by a snowball to the face. He wipes the snow from his face and laughs.

"Oh it is on Harvelle."

"Bring it Winchester."

It is doesn't take Cas long to join them and when he does he proves more skilled at snowball fights than both Jo and Dean.  The fight ends when Dean and Jo team up and tackle Cas to the ground. Dean scoops up a load of snow and drops it straight onto Castiel's face. He's laughing so hard that he's unprepared for Cas' counter attack. He ends up with snow down his back. They traipse back inside and find Missouri already making hot chocolate. Dean and Cas get changed into dry clothes and Dean lends Jo some old stuff of his.

They make themselves toasties and watch Love Actually, a film Jo adores, Dean pretends to hate and Cas has never seen.

Late in the afternoon it starts to snow again. It's getting dark but the three of them head out anyway.

Dean flops back into the snow and starts to make a snow angel. Jo follows suit. Cas watches them, a peculiar expression on his face.  

"Come on man, you must have made snow angels before."

Cas laughs quietly. "Yes, I just never realised the rest of the world did too." He joins them and they lie in the snow until it's uncomfortable.

"I'd better get going." Jo says as she stands up.

"We'll walk you back."

"I can look after myself."

"Never said you couldn't." Dean replies easily. "But Lawrence always looks so pretty when it's snowed. Cas should to see it, that's all."

"That's a shit excuse." Jo retorts but she can't help her smile.

//

Dean spends Christmas Eve at the Roadhouse like always and Castiel joins him, although he makes Castiel leave Missouri’s before him, insisting that he has some stuff to do. It's a simple affair, a chance for Dean to exchange presents with Jo, Ellen, Ash and Bobby too. Their gifts are never extravagant, none of them have loads of money to spare but the sentiment behind them is genuine and that gives them a value greater than any amount of thoughtlessly spent money could obtain.

They have a dinner that is simple but delicious and afterwards, as everyone else is clearing up Bobby takes Dean aside.

"I've got something' for ya in my truck boy, come help me with it."

Dean can't imagine what Bobby could have in his truck for him, traditionally their gifts are small due the limited price they've been bought for.

Bobby sighs as they reach the truck. "I owe you an apology here Dean. This is your by right and I shoulda given you it a long time ago."

"What the hell you got in there Bobby?"

Bobby shrugs and unlocks the cab, picking up a battered cardboard box off the from seat and passing it to Dean. It's snowing lightly and it makes darker patches on the top of the box.

"This isn't something to do in a parking lot . Let's get back inside."

Dean immediately heads for Jo's living room and sets the box down on the couch. Scrawled on the side of the box, in Bobby's handwriting, are the words John's stuff.

"Bobby?"

"I'm sorry Dean, I've had this for years. Police gave it to me, it's the stuff they found in yer daddy's car."

Dean can feel himself tearing up and scrubs angrily at his eyes. "Why didn't you give it me then?"

"You were eleven and yer daddy had just run off an' left you with your baby brother. You were so angry with him Dean. I was worried you'd burn the damn thing."

"Shouldn't it have been my choice?"

"I shouldn't have done it but I did an' ain't nothin' gonna change it now."

Dean doesn't reply, instead he opens the box. At the top is a folded leather jacket, Dean pulls it out and brings it up to his face. It smells like his dad, like whiskey and smoke and cheap cologne.

"I'd forgotten about it, truth be told. Cas uncovered it when he was clearing out my office." Dean looks up at Bobby. The old man is tugging on his trucker hat, unhappiness clear on his face. "I'm sorry Dean."

"It's ok." Bobby looks up Dean's words. "You aren't the one who fucked off and left me to look after Sammy. You did your best Bobby."

Bobby nods and clears his throat. Dean smiles, Bobby isn't very emotionally forthright, but he knows he's pleased the old man.

"I'll sort through this stuff later." Dean announces. "Hey Ellen! Is it present time yet?"

"You quit your hollerin' in my house young man." She admonishes, coming in from the kitchen, followed by Cas, Ash and Jo.

"Sorry Ellen." He puts the box on the floor and shoves it out of the way.

"What's that?" Jo asks, nosy as ever.

"Nothing. Some of my dad's old stuff."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Come on, presents."

Their presents are distributed and they set about opening them. Dean and Castiel don’t have anything for each other, as they’ll be giving their presents tomorrow at their home and Ellen, Jo and Ash are saving theirs as well.

Ash gets cologne from Bobby and Dean and Cas banded together to get him a computer game he’d been asking for. Bobby gets whisky from Jo and Ash, a new trucker hat from Cas, a cookbook from Ellen and a leather personal organiser from Dean.

Ellen gets a scarf from Bobby. He blushes terribly when she leans over to give him a kiss on the cheek after unwrapping it. Dean gets her earrings and Castiel presents her with a photo album.

“Jo helped me a bit with this. I hope you like it.”

Ellen tears up as she flicks through it. Jo and Cas had spent the afternoon picking some of her best photos to put in it.

“You’re such a good boy Castiel.”

“I do my best.”

For Jo’s present Dean, Cas and Bobby had joined forces. Dean had bought her an old camera, the kind that takes with proper film, found in a charity shop. Bobby had bought her the film and Cas had found a nice case and strap for it. She hugs Dean and Cas tight and then punches Dean.

“I love it.”

“I know you do.”

“Shut up and open your presents Winchester.”

From Bobby Dean gets leather polish for the Impala’s seats and a small Saint Christopher key chain.

“I know neither of us are exactly Godfearing folks but my mother gave it to me. Thought you might like it, once you get her runnin’.”

Dean clutches it tightly. “Thanks Bobby.”

From Ash he gets a band t-shirt and from Ellen he gets a voucher that entitles him to two whole pies for himself. He laughs at that. Jo gives him some cassettes since he refuses to update the Impala to a CD player.

Castiel opens his presents last and he seems almost overwhelmed by them. Bobby has given him three books from his own collection, the norse myths, the greek myths, a book on angel lore and another more contemporary book.

“It was very highly recommended by the lady in the bookshop.” He tells Castile as Cas reads the blurb of The Book Thief.

Ash gets him a notebook and Ellen gets him a fountain pen to go with it. Jo’s present is a photo frame. The picture is of the three of them, taken sometime in November by Ellen. They’re looking at the camera, but laughing at something.

“Thank you Jo.” Castiel tells her earnestly. “I like it very much.”

//

Bobby drives the Dean and Castiel home. When he’s dropped them off Dean turns to Cas.

“So, you’re kinda gonna get part of your present early cause I couldn’t really give it to you tomorrow. Um. It’s in your room.”

Dean insists on Cas closing his eyes before he lets him into his room. He makes Cas lie on the bed before he lets him open his eyes. When he does he gasps.

"Oh Dean!"

“You like it, huh?”

“It’s beautiful Dean.”

Dean grins as he looks up at Castiel’s ceiling. It had taken him nearly two hours but he had managed it, Castiel’s ceiling is covered in glow in the dark stars. He’d even arranged some of them into proper constellations.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Cas leans over and kisses his cheek. Dean makes an undignified noise.

“What was that for?!”

“That was how Ellen said thank you to Bobby.” Cas sounds worried.

“Yes it was, wasn’t it.” Dean sighs. Cas is going to be the death of him, he’s sure. “Well then, you’re welcome.”

There’s silence for a while and then Cas sits up and flicks on his bedside lamp. “I have something for you too, that would be easier to give you now.”

“Ok.” Dean sits up as well and watches as Cas crosses to his dresser and opens one of the drawers, pulling out a small box. He comes back and sits opposite Dean.

Dean opens the box carefully; inside is a single black feather. Dean picks it up carefully. He’s held bird feathers before but this has a weight to it unlike any feather he’s picked up before. It’s hasn’t gone dull like feathers normally go when they’ve come loose and it’s silky soft to the touch.

“It isn’t just an old feather I found in the garden.” Castiel tells him anxiously. “I know it might seem a little strange but it used to be mine. It is important to me that you have it.”

“I know.”

“You do?”

“Like you’d give me something that wasn’t important Cas.” Dean looks up at him. “It’s beautiful.” He pauses and then leans forward and gently kisses his friend’s cheek.

Cas gives Dean a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

//

Christmas day is fun as usual, Benny and Andrea join them and Dean hardly stops smiling all day. His ‘real’ presents from Castiel are some DVDs and a plaited leather bracelet with a small oval disk attached at the clasp. At first Dean had assumed it was just a brand mark but on closer inspection he realises it’s some sort of rune.

“A protection sigil.” Cas explains, a touch awkwardly.

Dean puts it on without further question. He’s gotten Cas a whole load of books and a single CD.

“Classical music Dean?” Castiel is surprised (unsurprisingly).

It’s Dean’s turn to feel awkward. “Yeah. Well. It made me think of you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Don’t know why.” He looks away for a moment. “Sounds stupid but for a split second I thought it was angels singing.” He laughs. “It sounds even more stupid now I’ve said it out loud.”

“No it doesn’t. Not all beauty is visual.”

“Yeah well. Merry Christmas Cas.”

“Merry Christmas Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The piece Dean is referring to is Allegri's Miserere and it is the most beautiful piece of music I have ever heard in my life and although I don't hate all classical* music like Dean does I do prefer more modern music. I would definitely recommend you listen to it;
> 
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh31j6L95Ok
> 
> *Dean uses classical as an umbrella term but in reality there is a much wider range which includes not only classical but also baroque and romantic.
> 
> Comments welcome!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments appreciated! The next chapter should be up later this week.


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